The Girl With Arthritis

Autoimmune arthritis, lupus and other diseases are very invisible diseases. However, they do leave their marks. Paleness. Weakness. Hair loss from medicines. Braces. Crutches. Canes. Orthopaedic shoes. All sorts of battle scars. A term I've always had a love hate relationship is the word deformity. When used correctly, it's a dramatic word that can bring a persons attention. But it can be used in a hurtful way- usually by ones tone of voice. Regardless, it's a completely correct fact when I say that I have a deformity. I have very inverted thigh bones. While knock knees are not typically a problem in a healthy person, they can be a huge problem in people with arthritis because it means you move in a way that accommodates pain and inverted knees. Thus, my knees are really bad because I had hip arthritis when I was little. And they're quite a sight: always puffy from the fluid in my knee and touching each other. I've got long legs, so my knocking knees are more ap...

Today I went to school. Shocker, isn't it? Anyway, I was doing a drawing with charcoal pencils so naturally my hands were filthy and I was trying to clean them with hand sanitizer and tissues. Didn't work well but they did the job but as I was cleaning my hands I noticed something: Fingers are weird. Or at least mine are. For one, they don't even stretch out all the way. Two, the joints are all weird with a little fluid in them (which means they are squishy and but not exactly swollen and red). And three, why on Earth do we have little moving attena like things sticking out of our arms?! Anyway, as if noticing my hands look like something out of a 1950's horror movie isn't bad enough but I noticed that I disturb (as in annoy) this kid in my class. Honestly, I see why too. He usually sits behind me or near the clock. Anyone who is in class with me can tell you I watch the clock all the time. He probably caught me too many times and thinks I'm staring at him all...