The Girl With Arthritis

I'm going to start Enbrel this week. Though I said before I was quite positive about taking Enbrel, as the actual happening of it comes closer and closer I've been getting nervous. I don't think I'm as nervous about the side effects as I am if it hurts. I admit it to the world: I am a teenager who has had arthritis for their whole life, and yet I'm afriad of a little needle -that might make everything better- being a bit painful. Kind of pathetic, in my opinion. But in a way I'm excited. I want to try and learn to inject Enbrel myself (Try to learn, no promises), and I think not only is that a great idea but I think it's cool. I mean, call me crazy, but in my opinon I think it's impressive when someone can inject themselves [with perscribed medicines/treatments].

Is nerve wracking. Most people have trouble waiting for their love interest to write back to them or waiting for a train. Patients have trouble waiting for test results that could mean the struggle of their lives. Imagine what it is like to wait several days for a doctor to call and tell you whether or not you have cancer. And imagine sitting waiting, wondering if this time next week you'll be sitting in a hospital bed. Or imagine waiting for further instructions to reduce your chances of pain. You feel the longer it takes, the more pain you will be in. It's so  unbearable that after a week or two of waiting, you call and ask for the results and they'll tell you they will call you back. And they do. Two or three  days after the fact. But not only that, you're nervous for the future. Will I be in a lot of pain... tomorrow. In a year. Forever? And not only that but 'will this medicine cause cancer?' and 'will I pass this onto my children?' constant...