The Girl With Arthritis

There are a lot of reasons one can feel like a stranger at family gatherings. I think the most common reason is because families tend to be strangers to each other. Some families drift over time or after the death of a grandparent. Others are just distant. I can't speak for everyone of course. Being strangers isn't what hurts you though: It's when they don't know you. It's a stab in the back when the people who held you as a baby cannot remember that you're just a bit too old for a necklace sized for a five year old child. By more than a decade. There's this one person I never connected with. I suppose it's because we are seemingly polar opposites, but I think it's a downright shame I've never had a proper conversation with him. You see, our relation implies we are very close but our actual relationship implies otherwise. We barely acknowledge each other at all. I've always assumed he never thought of me at all, which hurts considering ...

Hello. No I haven't returned from holiday, but I have found time to post. So... how's it going? I'm fine. Kind of. Sort of. A little bit. Maybe. Though I'm not ready to truely release what has been going on in my life (holiday aside), I will let you know I have been going through a very hard and uncertain time. I dont' know when I will be ready to write about it, but rest assured I will eventually. I'm just not ready. What's happening is very sad, unfortunate and makes me very angry. And I hate to admit, but I'm frightened at the moment too. Now more than ever is time to be brave, but I find courage is hard to find when you need it. Perhaps at a later date my loyalty will begin to be tested. Though I know I'm a rather loyal person, for the first time in my life my true loyalty will be needed and come out, that is if I truely am. Anyhow, thank you for reading and I will update in a few days or sooner.

I remember my first date. We were going to go see a film, something he really wanted to see. My mum bought me an adorable shirt to wear and she consulted me on how to do my hair and what shoes to wear. She calmed me down a lot, as I was a nervous wreck. My mum couldn't see me off though: she had to work. She tried not to cry. I tried to cry. When she left, I cried my eyes out. I did my make-up alone. I got my handbag together alone. I waited for him to come alone. It was the worse feeling in the world. Then I remembered a girl in my school lost her mum to cancer a year and a half ago. I bet she cried when her mum wasn't there for her first date. I bet she cried  when her mum wasn't there when she was accepted into the art programme. I bet she cried on every holiday and birthday. I bet she cried when someone talked badly of their  mum in front of her. I don't know where I would be without my mum. I don't know how my mum goes on without her's. And I can't u...

I don't have much I care to share today. However as I thought about this one song I like, I suppose it can really sum up how life feels right now. "Life is beautiful." Yes, that's all. All life in all forms is beautiful, young and old. Well and ill. Born and unborn. Exciting and calm. To love and being loved.

I haven't anything to really post about today. Nothing particularly has caught my eye recently. Oh yes, please keep in mind it's not nice to call people you barely know swear words: It's very rude and gives a very ignorant impression. Especially when said person may be very special to your friend. No, I did not do this to my friend: My friend did this to me. I'm not happy about it. What so ever. It ties with the lesson of not to gossip or judge a book by it's cover. Treating a person the way you would like to be treated. You know, these things you learn when you are... two, three years old?

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespear. (This is one of my favourites) Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom.    If this be error and upon me proved,    I never writ, nor no man ever loved .

I can tell you right now, life isn't fair. It isn't supposed to be. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes your friend likes the same boy as you. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can't get the stain out of your clothes. Sometimes you pay for something you don't get later. And all three of the above examples apply to me. You see, most girls have gone through this: You like a boy and you don't tell your friends, but then your friend tells you she likes him too. While you know the boy like YOU and not your friend, you just can't bear to hurt your friend and date him. It was once said that 'Once you like a boy, you're friends can never ever consider him' (I think Taylor Swift said this), but I can't agee. It's no fair to let people suffer: If two people like each other and nothing has been done between your friend and him, It should be fine. But you don't want to hurt your friend. Sometimes there are just no painfree solutions. Other ...

'He likes her but she like someone else but that girl also likes him even though she likes him.' Teenagers are all different. The one thing they have in common however, is that they all like someone at least sometime. Let's be honest here: There are hundreds of teenagers in one building for a large portion of the day, five days a week, for several months straight. It would be hard to find absolutely NO ONE appealing. After all there are actually more boys in my school than girls. When you're geeky, there are even fewer options however. So it's common when two girls or more like a boy at same time, boys get trapped in the friend zone, or when either gender is just too shy to show their love interest that they like them. But Spring is going to be coming soon and we all know what that means: Spring Fever! Hormones shall rage more aggressivaly than should be possibly allowed. Soon enough everyone will either be all lovie dovie, heart broken or feeling alone. I might...

People often say that the word is too over used. I know that they are targetting young kids who are infraunted with their 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend.' But, honestly speaking, how can the word love ever be used too much? Sure: Love is a word that describes a very strong emotion but it also speaks of affection for one another. If you could not love anyone other than your baby, your mother, all animals and your partner of ten years I think the world would be a very lonely place. I admit, I'm not one to show all that much emotion however I do have much love towards others. I love my family. I love my friends. I love babies. I love making people laugh and seeing them smile. I even love my homeroom. Do I love everyone in the class? No. But I love our routine and the diversity, and I especially love hearing the remarks the boys whisper  while others are talking in class. Naturally as humans we can not love everyone, but we can all show respect and compassion towards one ...

To be perfectly honest, teenagers scare me. They don't listen, they always seem to be up to something, they don't plan ahead and I'm always afraid they're going to do something that will mess up their life. I think if you looked at me, people would tell you I need someone to look out for me. But that's not always the case. You see, I'm always looking out for some kids. They're the ones that make you want to back off too: 'Mean' girls and sulky boys. I feel like everyone needs someone to look out for them. I watch out for quite a number of people, not just my friends. I look out for the disabled in my school (rather, as many as I'm aware of). I keep an eye on severals girls, some of which quiet and need  a friend and others who are popular but unstable. I worry for one boy who is so smart but just doesn't apply himself. Do I talk to all these kids? Some of them sometimes. Not often. I'm not stalking them: I just invite them to sit with m...