The Girl With Arthritis

Humans are not usually a solitary species. We form pacts and herds: Sometimes our pacts are brought together by blood, and others a common interest. Some pacts intimidate and others are together because they feel intimidated. It's perfectly normal to want to be in a group and belong. However, there is nothing wrong with being alone. It takes a strong person to stand on their own, though they may not feel strong at the time. In fact, they may not feel confident at all and long for their own group. But there is bravery in a person who walks into a new area, filled with new people for the first time. They know the opertunity that is involved with leaving their group, but that first step is walking alone.  There are many an opportunity we would miss if we hadn't been alone. Our groups intimidate, while one who is not afraid of the idea of eating alone is not. They may find they get chances they would never have if they were in a group. People would be too afraid to speak to the...

Where have I been? Right here! I've never left, I've just been less active. I haven't participated in social media nearly as much or even written comments on some of my favourite blogs. If you emailed me, I still responded like usual. But I'm not up for communication at the moment. I haven't for a long time. I'm not tired of all the lovely people on and off the internet. In fact, I miss them a lot. I just haven't felt up to writing. I haven't even been texting with my best friends as often. Even to type is tiring and all I want to do is lie down and stare at the screen. But this isn't even bringing my energy back. I force myself to take a long walk at least once a week (but usually more) but it hasn't helped (nor made it worse so I continue to get out for a minute). I really enjoy being out too, I wander through stores and bring home coffee for my mum and I. But afterward, I need to relax and I end up lying down for the rest of the day and so...

I think we forget that sometimes it's okay to want to be alone. There are times we really need our own privacy, and it's a very natural thing. Contrary to popular belief, it's okay to need to step away from everyone and just be alone. I think with chronic pain, we need to understand that this feeling isn't depression or anxiety: it's natural. I'm an introvert; I get energy from being alone, rather than a extrovert who gets energy by being around others. There are lots times I prefer being alone, and one of those times tends to be when I'm in pain. Not always, but some of the time I find it easier to cope that way. Being alone allows me to enter my own world and focus on relaxing, which works very well. And of course, there are times a good laugh with a friend helps. When I'm particularly stiff, I like to be alone. Somehow it's easier to walk like a robot easier on my own than when I'm in class and I can feel eyes on me. In some ways although ...

It's odd how in a world of billions of people, one can feel so lonely. This is particularly odd for me. I go to school. I meet up with people in the city. This blog keeps me contected with lots of great people. And Since I have access to the Internet in general, I can talk with virtually anyone, anytime I'd like without having to leave my spot on the couch! So where is this loneliness coming from?  I guess it's just from feeling so distant from everyone, especially my friends. As many a person before me has said it, I declare "They don't 'get' me." The arthritis doesn't help at all. I want to scream  in frustration that they don't know and they don't care. And I know others have felt the same: if there is one most misunderstood thing in this world, it's pain. And if there is one thing that can bring those in pain together, it's the feelings of being alone and misunderstood. I don't really know how to conclude this po...