The Girl With Arthritis

I've touched base upon this topic before, but I would like to again, just because I find it fascinating. Since I was very young, I've gotten along better with people who were older than me. It wasn't until I was about fifteen that I began to get along with my peers. Regardless, I've had the ability to talk with adults and preferred the company of a more mature person than people of my age (though not always). But the one touchy topic I hate to bring up with adults, especially older adults, is my psoriatic arthritis. Believe it or not, I prefer telling other young people about it rather than older adults. Of course, this isn't always the case, but a good portion of the times. Adults often compare me to themselves, who are beginning to wake up with an achy back or their hands aren't what they use to be. More often than I care to admit, they'll begin to compete with me to see who has it worse; I like to let them win so they feel special. Sometimes they just...

There hasn't been any commotion here on the blog, or on any of my social media. Normally it's when I'm not doing well that I don't write because it's harder to concentrate and I save my spoons for what absolutely must be done. But as of the past weeks, it's actually because I'm doing very well. In fact, the past few weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. With the start of a new school year came lots of changes, but I certainly embraced them rather than tried to keep things as they were: Change is very good, and sometimes you have to be the change you want. There have been lots of nice things that have come my way lately, which I've been very fortunate for. I'm walking and moving more than in the past, and I know I am stronger now: I've even gone out dancing a few times. Instead of feeling like a loner in a group, I feel part of a large community of friends, and there has never been a time in my life when I've felt more accepted...

Humans are not usually a solitary species. We form pacts and herds: Sometimes our pacts are brought together by blood, and others a common interest. Some pacts intimidate and others are together because they feel intimidated. It's perfectly normal to want to be in a group and belong. However, there is nothing wrong with being alone. It takes a strong person to stand on their own, though they may not feel strong at the time. In fact, they may not feel confident at all and long for their own group. But there is bravery in a person who walks into a new area, filled with new people for the first time. They know the opertunity that is involved with leaving their group, but that first step is walking alone.  There are many an opportunity we would miss if we hadn't been alone. Our groups intimidate, while one who is not afraid of the idea of eating alone is not. They may find they get chances they would never have if they were in a group. People would be too afraid to speak to the...

I have to admit, I've said "Having arthritis is so stupid" in a serious conversation. It's a very frustrating thing to have. Insulting it doesn't take arthritis away but it does make you feel a little better. I think the thing that's so frustrating is that much of what happens when you have arthritis is out of your control. You really don't get much choice in things you want to do when your body isn't well, especially with a disease that isn't always well controlled.People commonly have dreams, or rather nightmares, about losing control. But it's very hard to deal with something out of your control in real life, especially the way it so intimately is involved in your world. A few months ago my school was advertising a blood drive, and I was very excited. I had always wanted to donate blood, and my friends and I were going to give together. But being the person I am, I did my homework before the day of the blood drive. I found out that people ...

I've been told a lie under any circumstance is wrong, but there are times the truth is not understood. I don't encourage lying, but I understand it. That is because I lie about my diagnosis. Rheumatoid arthritis isn't too common, but most people have at least heard it's name in passing. But compared to psoriatic arthritis, it's practically a celebrity. RA is just more commonly diagnosed, so it's more likely to hear about. In fact, many people with psoriatic arthritis will not be diagnosed or will be misdiagnosed with RA due to rheumatologists overlooking psoriasis or because you just don't have psoriasis (my case). I was said to have JIA when I was younger, until another rheumatologist distinguished it as juvenile onset psoriatic arthritis due to my family history, nail changes, and many other distinguishing symptoms. But even then, I've been told many times I could pass as having RA. If you tell someone you have psoriatic arthritis, they look at you...

I never liked him, and I don't think he liked me. That was fine by me. I was very quiet and an easy target. He was very loud and brash, and even at my ripe age of eleven I found him extremely obnoxious. I was glad when we didn't have classes together- it meant I could get my work done without comments that turned me red in anger and embarrassment. I was often picked on by my classmates, but he made my blood boil- somehow, he always knew just what to say or do to make me angry. One time he sprayed a pungent cologne in my face, and laughed when I scowled. Every day, I wished he would go away. I hated him, and I don't think he ever liked me. I haven't thought about him in years, and I don't think he thought of me either. Why would we when there was no reason to? We went on to go to different schools in different towns, and we never crossed paths again. With no mutual friends- not even Facebook friends- there was no reason we would ever need to remember each other, ...

People from my school would say I'm very quiet. I tried not to talk too much because I was afraid that I would come off as some loser. When I spoke, my voice would crack and shake, I'd trip on my words and I would turn red in embarrassment. Speaking tended to be humiliating, so I stopped. I was more open when I was younger, but a few years ago when a class burst into laughter after I spoke, I stopped completely. I didn't want to be judged because I wasn't an eloquent speaker, so I resorted to not talking very much. My exception was for occasional one liners that would get some laughter and boost my confidence. I loved when they laughed, so I would try to open up more to be funny. Even then, there were times that only got me picked on so I would retreat and picked my battles with more care. The only way people seemed to like me is if I didn't have a voice, and I accepted it. It was in January that an academic society I belong to began preparing to induct several ne...