(This was posted Feb 16, 2024 - but I thought it was such a great topic that I wanted to repost it.) Please don't judge me based on my good days. Looks can be deceiving for someone with a chronic illness. What looks like a good day might actually be a good day. Or it might be a good few hours. Or it could be someone doing their best to function through the pain. You don't honestly know what someone is going through, especially when they have lived with the pain for a long time. You'd be surprised how much pain people can learn to smile through. Read the full article at psoriatic-arthritis.com
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Instructions for a Bad Day
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We all have them. We all have ways of getting past them. Listening to this is one way I do.
Instructions for a Bad Day
By Shane Koyczan
"There will be bad days. Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go. Be confident. Know that now is only a moment, and that if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended. Be gracious. Accept each extended hand offered, to pull you back from the somewhere you cannot escape. Be diligent. Scrape the gray sky clean. Realize every dark cloud is a smoke screen meant to blind us from the truth, and the truth is whether we see them or not - the sun and moon are still there and always there is light. Be forthright. Despite your instinct to say "it's alright, I'm okay" - be honest. Say how you feel without fear or guilt, without remorse or complexity. Be lucid in your explanation, be sterling in your oppose. If you think for one second no one knows what you've been going through; be accepting of the fact that you are wrong, that the long drawn and heavy breaths of despair have at times been felt by everyone - that pain is part of the human condition and that alone makes you a legion. We hungry underdogs, we risers with dawn, we dissmisser's of odds, we blesser's of on – we will station ourselves to the calm. We will hold ourselves to the steady, be ready player one. Life is going to come at you armed with hard times and tough choices, your voice is your weapon, your thoughts ammunition – there are no free extra men, be aware that as the instant now passes, it exists now as then. So be a mirror reflecting yourself back, and remembering the times when you thought all of this was too hard and you'd never make it through. Remember the times you could have pressed quit – but you hit continue. Be forgiving. Living with the burden of anger, is not living. Giving your focus to wrath will leave your entire self absent of what you need. Love and hate are beasts and the one that grows is the one you feed. Be persistent. Be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful - because it doesn't know it's not supposed to grow there. Be resolute. Declare what you accept as true in a way that envisions the resolve with which you accept it. If you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for. If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can - do more. There will be bad days, Times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out. There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending. Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not, check your blind spot. See that love is still there, be patient. Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end. Ignore what others have called you. I am calling you friend. Make us comprehend the urgency of your crisis. Silence left to its own devices, breed's silence. So speak and be heard. One word after the next, express yourself and put your life in the context – if you find that no one is listening, be loud. Make noise. Stand in poise and be open. Hope in these situations is not enough and you will need someone to lean on. In the unlikely event that you have no one, look again. Everyone is blessed with the ability to listen. The deaf will hear you with their eyes. The blind will see you with their hands. Let your heart fill their news-stands, Let them read all about it. Admit to the bad days, the impossible nights. Listen to the insights of those who have been there, but come back. They will tell you; you can stack misery, you can pack disappear you can even wear your sorrow – but come tomorrow you must change your clothes. Everyone knows pain. We are not meant to carry it forever. We were never meant to hold it so closely, so be certain in the belief that what pain belongs to now will belong soon to then. That when someone asks you how was your day, realize that for some of us – it's the only way we know how to say, be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now – let go."
I've had a wide variety of physical therapists in my time. My first was a young woman. I had to go to Physical therapy for a few weeks to recover from a flare when I was eight. She was very nice, and I don't remember too much actual 'work,' because mostly it seemed like we played games and such. :) My next physical therapist came when I was about twelve. She was an older woman who always started out sessions by loosening my hip. She was very nice indeed, though she did not tolerate when I started giving up the last few minutes of the session: I had to be giving way more than humanly possible at ALL times. Sometimes I wondered if this was like military training. I had another physical therapist around that same time. He was an older man and very kind. I remember we had a lot of laughs. After he taped my feet so I wouldn't be so flat footed, he informed me I could stop walking like a robot. I only saw him a handful of times, though I did like when I got him. ...
Ironically, for someone who shares my medical experiences online, I am a very private person in real life. There are some details about myself I'm quick to share, like being a crochet enthusiast! But there are several things I keep private, one of them being that I have psoriatic arthritis (PsA). Click here to read the full article at Psoriatic-Arthritis.com.
I've been doing a lot of writing on this blog about why the past few months were so difficult for me. But this is, by far, the most significant thing that happened to me. While I'd like to say this is something that is 'over and done with,', I can't: This is still something I'm dealing with. I'm actually nervous to share this post so publicly because I'm scared of the responses I'll receive. Please try to understand. Fall semester was supposed to be amazing. I was going to hang out in all my favorite places with all my favorite people. But instead, it ended with me afraid to leave my room and almost completely isolated. My perfect semester was interrupted by him . I don't know if he likes me or is obsessed with me, but regardless, I find he likes to be in my company. Often, without my knowledge. He's walked behind me and followed me home. Sometimes, he sees me approaching my apartment building, sprints to the entrance and waits for me...
Thanks for sharing, very relevant and very inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I take a lot of comfort in it- especially listening to it- and I hoped others would too.
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