Been There Before

As a person who is practically on a first name basis with their rhuematologist, when people talk about medical procedures and such I can almost always say 'Yeah I've done that too: Did you get it with contrast?' Or something of the like. I only recently realised it's not the most comforting thing for someone to hear. Honestly when I say 'Oh I'm nervous I have to have this done' or 'I just got this test', to hear 'Oh Don't worry I had it done and it's very easy it goes like this...' or 'I did too! Did they use..' puts me at ease.
But recently my friend had a health scare and I tried to be there for her. I know it's scary and she wouldn't stop talking about it and how afraid she is to go see the specialist. I thought it would be smart to say things like 'Better to know than be left in the dark' when she said she doesn't want to continue on. I would've thought everyone was the same way. Or when she said 'I got an ultrasound' I said 'Really? Did it go alright? I get those a lot.' Turns out it made her really mad when I said those things. I didn't understand until last night thinking about it. I guess sometimes when these things happen, you either want to feel normal and know other people go through the same thing or you want extra attention (I don't mean in a bad way, I mean the 'somethings wrong and I need support' way) and need to feel different. I forgot about when I was first diagnosed and even today. As much as I like being able to relate much more than feeling different, sometimes I just want to feel different because I am different.

I suppose being sick teaches you a lot about life.


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