'Handicap'

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Today was a rough day. I had to go see my rheumy today. We found out some very reasuring things: (1) The fever and  stuff I had earlier could've caused me to go into shock and I would've been in hospital for a very long time, and (2) that because of the fever I'm more likely to have a flare up. A flare up is when Arthur gets really agrivated and annoys me to the point of being in too much pain to move and probably causing fevers and such. I'm very, very blessed I made it through it all at home: I guess it was a way to tell us it's nowhere close to my time (Not that a kid should be thinking that way). These next few weeks we're watching for anything close to a flare. I'm so scared: I've only had a flare once when I was eight and I was sick for months. I don't want that to happen again, especially as I am so close to getting ready to go into remission. I just hope everything will be alright. If it be I'm healthy, I'll hope to get ready to start preparing for remission and if it be I am unhealthy, I'll hope to recover quickly so I don't miss school.

Also today I was riding on a train with my mum. There were no seats but some left for handicap or elderly. We took those and it was good because I wanted to stretch out and those gave us room to. Then some man came over and loudly said "ARE  YOU HANDICAP?" I looked at him as if he were serious. I had just been told I could be in a flare and I just escaped a hospitalization by the skin of my teeth, and he had the nerve to do this? He did not look handicap, and I don't look handicap. Turns out he had a little trouble bending his knees. I got kicked out of my seat so him and his wife and child who could've sat in a regular passanger seat nearby. Did I say "Yes I am handicap?" Nope. I was too upset. I don't want to be walked all over next time. Next time I want to say yes I am, what's it to you? I felt a little better when his wife gave me an apologetic look. But still. What a wonderful example for his child. Sometimes I wish Arthur was more than a little imaginary friend who follows me around: Something people can acknowledge.

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