Understand Myself

I never understood how severe my arthritis really is.
I didn't see how stiff I walk until watching a video of me walking. I didn't bend my knees too often. I asked my friend if I 'walked like a robot' all the time, and he nodded, not thinking much of it.
I didn't listen to the pops and cracks of my joints until my friend with arthritis walked beside me, and we seemed to mirror to sounds. I couldn't hear them until someone asked if we were okay.
I didn't realise how sore I always am until right now, sitting in my favourite position with my feet propped up on the most comfortable chair I have. I didn't pay attention but now that I think of it, I'm always like this: I got used to relaxing in pain. It's like resting after a procedure when your comfortable but still bothered by pain.
As I have said it once, I will say it again, I know my life could be so much worse. But this is me just coming to learn reality explain all of this.


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