Don't Judge Me for My Good Days: Psoriatic-arthritis.com

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  (This was posted Feb 16, 2024 - but I thought it was such a great topic that I wanted to repost it.) Please don't judge me based on my good days. Looks can be deceiving for someone with a chronic illness. What looks like a good day might actually be a good day. Or it might be a good few hours. Or it could be someone doing their best to function through the pain. You don't honestly know what someone is going through, especially when they have lived with the pain for a long time. You'd be surprised how much pain people can learn to smile through. Read the full article at psoriatic-arthritis.com
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Born Into Arthritis

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I've understood that people are not supposed to experience pain for a long time. I knew the concept at the age of eight, and understood completely by age ten. I know that sounds a bit impossible, but I've had arthritis since I was a baby and I grew up in pain. I didn't know that wasn't right. It's not that I wasn't in pain, it's that I assumed everyone felt the same. When no one else complained or talked about it, I assumed I wasn't supposed to either. Despite being stiff and limping, no one really asked me if I was in pain. I just thought it was completely normal until I flared when I was eight. All of a sudden, it was okay if I didn't want to run about like the others. The adults would tell the children, "Elizabeth's hips hurt," and I would get to sit and play my own games. It was amazing, but I didn't truly think my pain was out of the ordinary until I got a bit older.

To this day, I still forget. I still assume everyone on the bus home is in a lot of pain too. I still assume everyone is stiff in the morning. I still assume everyone can relate. I can't help but imagine that everyone else has chronic pain, because that's all I know.

Once when I was in Disney World with family, we were riding a bus back to the hotel. It was very crowded and my family was standing on the ride. A man offered my aunt and small cousin a seat. I thought it was very noble of him because after a long day of walking, I assumed it was very painful to stand. My aunt said she was happy to stand, and I thought she had gone mad. What about all the walking we had done today? Wasn't her child in a lot of pain? Then it occurred to me that although they were tired and sore too, it was different. I was putting myself in their place and giving them my pain. I thought it was amazing how in that situation, three people were willing to stand after a very long day of walking. It blew me away because I was in a wheelchair for part of the day but still felt horrible.

Many people are pain free for years before developing arthritis. I never had that experience. I think I'm all the luckier for it though, because I can't imagine what it's like not to have pain. I can't be sad about how it was 'before.' I'm lucky because I can't imagine or assume anyone has it easier than me.

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 7, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    Very interesting post, I tend to assume everyone is in pain too! How old were you when you were diagnosed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ElizabethAugust 7, 2013 at 5:25 PM

      I was about twelve years old when I was diagnosed, despite having a flare at age eight and obvious orthopaedic problems since I started walking.

      Delete

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