Don't Judge Me for My Good Days: Psoriatic-arthritis.com

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  (This was posted Feb 16, 2024 - but I thought it was such a great topic that I wanted to repost it.) Please don't judge me based on my good days. Looks can be deceiving for someone with a chronic illness. What looks like a good day might actually be a good day. Or it might be a good few hours. Or it could be someone doing their best to function through the pain. You don't honestly know what someone is going through, especially when they have lived with the pain for a long time. You'd be surprised how much pain people can learn to smile through. Read the full article at psoriatic-arthritis.com
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Shopping Strength

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The other day I was out shopping with my mum. Whilst walking out of one of the shops, a few people gave me a dirty look. I didn't know what that was for, because I hadn't even been looking at them. I looked myself up and down to see if it was because something was wrong with my clothes, but I didn't notice anything. Then it dawned on me: it was what I was carrying. My mum had heavy bags, and I was carrying much lighter ones. I felt like a jerk.

It didn't take the dirty looks to make me feel like a bad person. I had always known how wrong it looked that an older person is carrying heavy bags whilst the young person they're with is carrying very light bags. I felt guilty about it for a long time, because it's really not fair to my mum. And I don't want it to be like that: I want to be able to carry the really heavy things. Noticing these things by  myself is guilt enough, but adding people staring is guilt to the infinite level.

And then there's my mother: the woman who refuses to let me carry heavy objects. She'll always grab  what's heavy and tell me to take what's left. And she doesn't care what people think- I wish I had that thick skin. Sometimes I'll tell her that I feel guilty since I'm the young one and I'm supposed to take the large bags and she waves it away and says, "Elizabeth, I'd rather you not be in pain."

Honestly, my mum is pretty awesome.


Comments

  1. lincolnHabelsAugust 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. ElizabethAugust 27, 2013 at 12:40 PM

      Even though this comment was removed, I want to say thank you for it anyway: I was very touched, thank you. :)

      Delete
  2. AnonymousAugust 28, 2013 at 2:46 AM

    Your words perfectly described my own experiences with my own mom who insists on carrying heavy bags for me, as well...and also has a thick skin about people who could so easily misunderstand. I always feel guilty about shopping with her help, but since it is difficult without her assistance, I let her carry what I cannot. It is frustrating that this disease is so invisible to others. It is hard feeling sick and unfairly judged at the same time...but your words were such a help. Thank you for sharing your experiences and for reaching out to those of us who might understand your hardships!...

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    Replies
    1. ElizabethAugust 28, 2013 at 10:51 AM

      I'm glad we could relate in our experiences. It is so hard to need assistance, much to the misunderstanding of others. I try to look on the bright side though; That even though all these people can't see why I need help, I'm glad my mum can and does whatever she can.

      Delete

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