Portraits of Portraits

Today in art class we did one of my favourite things: Portrait drawings.
Today in art class we did one of my least favourite things: Self-Portrait drawings.
I say it's a bit of a curse because I can draw almost anyone except my mum, my grandmum and myself. I think it's a bit of a generation thing. Both of my attempts on huge paper we were given were very far from what I actually do look like. I decided I would finish it at home on my own paper: I hope the teacher won't mind, and I'm sure he won't since we're just doing those only to scan them into the computer to paint over anyway.
My mum tells me that I draw people softer than they really are, meaning I'll round pointed faces and make harsh eyes gentler. But when it came to drawing myself, I made myself look so brutal and stern: As if I were wicked. It's scary too because while my friend and I agreed that the picture did not look like me, it looked like someone we have seen before. This one girl whom I am friends with (who has quite a rude streak) burst into laughter when she saw my drawing and said if she said what she thought I would slap her. I'd never hit her though. I'd walk away and I'd never come back. Well of course I would come back to school but I'd never act as a friend to her again.
Anyway, I don't know why I make myself harsher and -frankly- uglier than I am yet make anyone I draw look gentle if they are harsh. Maybe it's because I like to try and over look the brutuality of others and I'm too critical of myself. Or maybe it's just a real curse keeping me from drawing. ;)


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